² Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.”

Can you imagine hearing the voice of God telling you to do such an insane thing?  But Abraham had astounding faith and he recognized the voice of God.  Don’t know about you, I have trouble with both having faith and recognizing the voice of God.  But Abraham responded immediately “Here I am.”  He had an ear for hearing God.  There was no confusion, no arguing, no questioning, no “but God…. but…. you said….” just obedience and preparations for the journey to the mountain of sacrifice.  How could he take Isaac, his only son, one that he had waited on for almost 100 years,  and embark on this journey to sacrificial death?  Genesis 22:5 perhaps provides a clue.  When Abraham, Isaac, the donkey, and 2 servants arrived at the mountain, Abraham told the servants to stay with the donkey and “we (Isaac and Abraham) will come back to you.”  I think he knew all along that God would provide, he just didn’t have the details yet.  It was his tremendous faith in God that allowed him to take Isaac on a  journey which to the natural eye appeared to be a death trap.  Abraham knew God and exercised faith in God that he would fulfill his promises.  True to form, Abraham pulled out his knife and was ready to slay his only son just as God had ordered.  But once again, Abraham’s keen sense and ability to discern and hear the voice of God was immediate.  An angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham! And once again he replied, “Here I am.”  Most of you know how the story ended, but just in case, read the outcome in Genesis 22:-15.  He was not to lay a hand on the boy.  The Lord provided a ram for sacrifice.

Abraham must have had faith that God is a God of unlimited provision.  He called the place “The Lord will Provide.”  ”On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided”  What is this mountain of the Lord? Mountains often symbolize a tower of strength, immovable, permanent, wisdom, power, protection and magnificent beauty.

What aspects of your life do you need to exercise faith in God’s promises?  In your marriage, your relationships, your career, family, children, personal health?  I believe we can approach the “mountain of the Lord” where he provides a source of wisdom, strength, power, and protection from sin, from discouragement, guilt, shame, depression, anger, and various addictions.  Has God “promised” something to you but you don’t have the “details” just yet?

Yes, but “I’m not faithful like Abraham, I’ve had sin in my life,” or “I’ve made so many mistakes that I don’t think God would answer my prayers.”

Let me remind you that even though Abraham had tremendous, unwavering faith, he also demonstrated a lack of faith and even entered into sin on numerous occasions.  Let me start by listing a couple.  He lied about his wife Sarah being his sister on at least 2 separate occasions to protect himself.  Perhaps he is best known for sleeping with the maidservant Hagar and getting her pregnant with Ishmael. Significant consequences followed each of these sinful acts, but God was faithful and so was Abraham.  The New Testament refers to Abraham as “father of faith” not “that sinner who slept with Hagar.”

We’ve all sinned and fallen short of our high calling, but we can and must abide with our God on the mountain of provision each day.

Social anxiety along with the fear of negative evaluation can be detrimental to our interpersonal relationships not only with those we are meeting for the first time, but also with our spouse or significant others.  Excessive attempts to hide self whether consciously or subconsciously often prevent the emotional and spiritual intimacy that is vital to a successful marriage relationship.  This is often manifested as the inability or unwillingness to express opinions and diminished spontaneity. 

This system of beliefs is associated with self talk that goes something like this:  “Based on my experience, if people really knew me, they would reject me; Therefore, I will attempt to hide my true self and avoid scrutiny.” 

So what is the solution?  Tell yourself the truth about negative evaluation.  The truth is that sometimes others may have a negative evaluation of us.  The truth is that MOST of time MOST people are accepting and are not engaged in negative evaluation of us.  The truth is even if they do engage in negative evaluation of us it doesn’t necessarily mean  it’s justified or true. We can learn to view ourselves as unique creations of God with our own flaws, our own quirks and  come to realize everyone doesn’t always have to approve of us.  It’s OK.  Learn to tell your self  that “it’s ok.”

If you have additional questions or thoughts about this topic, drop me a line rwcreasy@gmail.com

So, Hurray for Dads everywhere.  Hurray for potential Dads everywhere.  Let’s celebrate our God given gifts to lead, protect, provide for our family.

Do eat at the Carol Creek Cafe.  Order the scallops.

If you eat at the popular Middleton Tavern, do not order the rockfish on stale lettuce.  Order the coleslaw, skinny fries, and steamed shrimp.  Do not dress up.  Annapolis is very casual. Don’t bring your well bred exotic  dog as everyone else did.  They are uncomfortable in the hot sun and are very thirsty.  They also poop in the street and at roadside cafe’s.

Do visit the Naval Academy and do visit the chapel and crypt of John Paul Jones.  And don’t assume that children educated in the last 15 yrs will know who he was. Don’t plan on seeing the chapel on weekends because there will be weddings.  Do walk along the main road in the Naval Academy grounds where the officers and their wives live.  Notice the screened in porches.

Do have lunch at the Ram’s Head restaurant and order the beer battered onion rings.

Do stay in a B and B and not in a  hotel.

Do visit the dock at Pusser’s in the Marriot and indulge in adult beverages over the water after dinner watching sailboats come in.

Do buy an expensive yacht and invite me and Kathy to spend the night in the Severn River on board your sail boat.  That would be a blast.  I’ll provide the refreshments.

In the default mindset of emotional isolation, triangles are often created to compensate for the lack of intimacy. Based on family theory systems, when parents cannot solve their conflicts, they are likely to pull in the child who helps to release anxiety and tension. Triangulation occurs when one of the partners (husband or wife) invites a third party to confide in, or escape to, for the purpose of filling one’s emptiness which occurs when emotional intimacy is missing.

Some triangles may provide a level of stability for the family without causing damage. Other people outside the home or objects and diversionary activities can also help form the triangle.  For example, instead of intentionally trying to work through and resolve difficult problems together as a couple or with the assistance of a counselor, the husband (or wife) retreats to excessive work schedules, alcohol abuse, excessive shopping, hours and hours of video games, pornography, or spending an inordinate amount of time with other friends and activities outside the home and outside of the marriage relationship.  I’ve even had clients complain that the household pet (dog, cat) receives more love and affection than they receive (the pet now becomes part of the emotional triangle). Of course, as more information surfaces, this is often the result of inaccessibility by (the husband) spending Saturday and Sunday on the golf course as an excuse for male bonding. Or the result of emotional detachment and inaccessibility of (the wife) going on a 3 day shopping spree.  It’s no wonder why Lassie (name your pet) sometimes receives more love and affection; because they’re never inaccessible and they seldom withdraw.

The challenges of marriage can persist throughout a relationship and can at times be intense and overwhelming.  However, couples are especially vulnerable shortly after marriage, as newly weds adjust to living together. These challenges come in a variety of forms but more frequently are the result of financial stresses and difficulties, illness, emotional “baggage” consisting of current or unresolved issues from the family of origin (my parents, my siblings; her parents, her siblings, past abuse etc) and unplanned pregnancies.   These challenges are often compounded by the couple’s inability to effectively communicate or resolve conflicts.

Emotional and spiritual intimacy must be preserved, nourished, and intentionally cultivated at all times in order for a marriage to thrive and flourish.  Healthy couples should be able to talk about a full range of issues and feelings without undue anxiety or conflict.  When the marriage relationship is attacked and conflict arises, the more comfortable default stance is to construct emotional walls which prevent and deter communication and block emotional intimacy. It seems too painful to talk about it especially if the couple lacks good conflict resolution skills.